We’ve all been there. Hit ‘send’ on an email only to have that gut-wrenching moment of ‘nooooooooo, what have I done!?’ when you realise that you’ve just made a horrible – horrible – mistake.

And this is made all the worse when you’re talking about something as important as applying for a job. These guys REALLY weren’t thinking when they emailed over their CVs…

Funny CV typos

We weren’t joking when we said check your CV before sending it! These are taken from real CV situations documented across various social media sites and forums. And they are far too easy to do!

  • “I have had sex jobs so far…” – Um, we hope you meant six!
  • “I enjoy cooking Italians and Chinese” – Hmm, did they not object?
  • “I speak fluent English and Spinach” – Popeye would be proud

In all seriousness, though, typos can really affect your chances of success – almost all employers will bin a CV with typos, even if they are amusing. And be sure to check our easy email mistakes to be sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot!

OTT aims and objectives

We all like to boast about why we’d be good at a job and explain our ambitions… Sometimes, though, it goes a BIT too far. OK, way too far!

  • “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.” – Good one, insult all of their staff! Arrogant, much?
  • “I noticed a typo on your website and I can tell you that would NOT happen if I worked for you. I’ll tell you what it is if you invite me in for an interview.” – Threats and insults usually won’t get you a foot in the door
  • “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.” – but you won’t actually contribute to it yourself?

Getting across your ambition without sounding like a bit of an idiot can be tough, but it’s not impossible. you just need to know how to market yourself.

I’m bad, I’m bad, you know it

It’s one of the biggest CV mistakes going. Never EVER tell your potential employer how bad you are. Ever!

  • “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job.” – Nice in theory but in reality you can’t be waltzing in and out of a job whenever you fancy it
  • “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.” – Now there’s nothing wrong with having ambition. But there’s ambition and just plain stupidity. This is most definitely the latter!
  • “My plan is to become Overlord of the Galaxy!” – No. Just, no.
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